In the words of Riff, from Sluggy Freelance: “You know, nothing helps me more when I’m succumbing to mental trauma than a nice warm recap…”
The past two weeks have certainly been filled with mental trauma. I can't think of a better way to describe the horror of 8 tests, 4 chapter quizzes, 19 chapters of reading, and a 4100 word paper in 12 days. That's not only mental trauma - it's mental ritual abuse. Naturally, I haven't had quite as much time as I would have liked to do things like blog, eat, and sleep.
Sleep? What is sleep?
I did have a chance to rediscover my very favorite webcomic EVER - Sluggy Freelance. If you don't know about it, it's nifty! If you like sarcasm, parodies, and mini lop-eared bunnies that carry switchblades - I would certainly recommend jumping in head first. Start at the beginning though... some of the story arcs span years. I didn't mean to get sucked back in to Sluggy, but somehow, reading about demon possession while doing Government seemed appropriate. It helped me to understand what my Government professor must have been experiencing when she wrote out the assignments.
So, in honor of Riff, I think it's time for a nice, warm recap.
Thursday (The 5th)
Remember that whole "I can't take my sociology exams because my professor hasn't sent them to OSD yet" thing? As of Thursday morning, the exams still weren't there, and I was starting to panic slightly, as the due date for the exams was Monday. Rejuvenated by my night off playing with my dogs and my neighbors, I awoke on Thursday morning refreshed and ready to take on Austin Community College.
I was pissed, and by God, SOMEBODY was going to help me straighten out this mess if I had to talk to every single person at ACC.
First I went to OSD, where I wasted no time in telling them exactly how I felt about being stuck taking four tests in half as many days because the professor couldn't get his stuff together. OSD sent me to the Department Director for Sociology and Psychology. He was, of course, at the downtown branch. I had to wait until 2 to see him (I used the opportunity to visit UT campus, take some pictures, and long for the beginning of the semester there), and when I finally tracked him down, he was less than thrilled with my suggestion that they take me out of the bleeping class and give me back my bleeping money because it was bleeping ridiculous, what they were expecting me to do.
Okay, so I wasn't quite that mean. But I felt like I should have been. He took me to see the professor himself. My professor was certainly nice enough, but his explanation to me? "I'm sorry, you fell through the cracks." I don't even like to step on cracks, let alone fall through them. He gave me an extension. I watched him send the tests and went on my merry way - but the whole situation still ended up being a bit unfair. Everyone else in the class got the chance to retest any grades they weren't happy with - I didn't.
If only I had already written my 4100 word paper on the ADA at the time...
Friday (The 6th)
Took a sociology exam. Read sociology.
Saturday (The 7th)
Took a sociology exam. Read government.
Sunday (The 8th)
Read psychology. Commandeered Kelly's deck to read, because I read best when I'm outside and her deck has shade. Found myself utterly annoyed with the Psychology book's description of anxiety disorders. Wrote my professor a page-long e-mail telling her why I was so annoyed.
Got Picante chicken. Kelly's husband Dave is the BEST grill-man in the Greater Austin Area. Possibly the World. And the picante chicken? It's like crack. It's that good.
Went home Sunday night. Read Government. Didn't sleep - not at all. Not even a little bit.
Monday (The 9th)
It still felt like Sunday because, well, I hadn't slept. I had also developed a cold of the worst kind, sometime between sitting on the deck and leaving for my exams. My nose ran. But it was stopped up. My eyes watered. My face hurt (because the slightest cold is enough to trigger a sinus infection in my world).
So, with no sleep and sick, I grabbed my box of tissues, my can of Mountain Dew, and set off for testing.
I took a Government exam. I blew my nose approximately 13287 times.
I went outside to read for the two hours I had between my tests... and something odd happened.
First, a guy walked up to me and handed me a note. It said, more or less, "Hi, I'm really shy. I go to Baylor and it's helping me come out of my comfort zone. I think you're a really beautiful lady and I would like to be your friend. Here is my phone number, can I have yours? I have to go meet with my professor now, but I'll be back to talk to you."
At first I was a little flattered. Then a little shocked. And then a little confused. I was sleep deprived. And SICK. And still wearing sweat pants. There was nothing about my appearance that said, "I want to get to know you." In fact, I might have been shooting lasers from my eyes at that point. I really wasn't in the mood to DO people.
But he was nice enough, and because he asked, I wrote my phone number down for him and went back to reading.
I KNOW. I KNOW. Note to self: Give out FAKE phone number.
Ten minutes later, another guy came up, sat down, and started talking to me. By the time he left, I was really starting to expect a researcher to pop out from behind the bushes at any moment and say something like, "You were randomly selected to participate in our experiment regarding ways males can get female attention."
I went to take my psych test, then I dragged myself back home to get to work on my Government assignment, sneezing and coughing all the way.
It SUCKS being sick on exam week.
So, I had to write this paper on the Americans with Disabilities Act. I'd started it, but I hadn't really done much work on it. And it was due in 9 hours and 45 minutes.
With the help of my dear friend Dan, as fact checker and proof-reader, as well as morale booster, I finished the paper in 9 hours and 42 minutes. Okay... so closer to 9 hours even. I'm not sure how I'd have survived Government this semester without Dan. Gotta have someone to make fun of all the hypocrisy with.
Then the phone calls started. Rather, they started around 9. And they came two at a time... at 9... at 10... at 11.
I fell into a deep sleep around midnight.
Tuesday (The 10th)
I was awoken around 8 AM by phone calls. Then he called at 9. Then he sent some texts. THEN, I started getting calls from DIFFERENT (512) phone numbers. Annoyed (though amused), I pulled myself out of bed to go take my Economics exam.
My economics exam wasn't there.
By the time, the people in OSD were threatening to name a chair after me, I'd be there so much. And when lovely Cathy walked out of her office, I said, "Take three guesses."
She called and got my test, but not until 4. By that time, I had gone home and collapsed in sickness on my couch. I did not feel well. I did not feel well at all.
Wednesday (The 11th)
Went in, took my Econ exam. I only needed to get a 59 to make an A in the class, so I wasn't too worried. Note-boy and friends were still calling. I still felt like death warmed over.
Went home, crashed on couch. You'd think that might have been the end of it - but I was scheduled to watch the Chaos kids so that Kel and Dave could go play volleyball. I'd TOLD Kelly on Monday that I was sick. I TOLD her on Tuesday that I was sick. When we spoke on Wednesday afternoon, I told her that I wanted to die.
I don't think she believed me. I yelled a bit, and grumbled, and then showed up with my box of tissues at which point she told me I looked like death warmed over.
Well DUH, I thought.
There was more yelling. It wasn't pretty. After sorting the whole thing out with Dave, I ended up watching the kids... but Kelly brought me a sandwich to appease me, and then we watched the finale of So You Think You Can Dance.
Thursday (The 12th)
After the week long testing-torture extravaganza, you'd have thought that Thursday might come with the promise of peace and relaxation.
See, I had to go to the orthodontist.
I had braces when I was a teenager, and even though I've had them off for five years, the orthodontists told me I'd always need to wear retainers. Fine, I thought. I liked my retainer. It was comfortable. It helped me eat crunchy cereal because it covered the roof of my mouth. I wore it RELIGIOUSLY.
Until last fall, when Cooper ate it.
Since I didn't have the money at the time to replace it, I put it off... but my fears of moving teeth turned into nightmares about my teeth falling out (literally, nightmares) and I was starting to really obsess over not having one.
With the promise of financial aid, I found an orthodontist and made an appointment for Thursday. Only... I HATE orthodontists. And dentists. And anyone that does things in my mouth. They scare the heck out of me, for a multitude of reasons - the main one being that they tend to do things that HURT.
I took a xanax to keep myself from massively panicking. Try explaining to your orthodontist that the idea of him putting his hands in your mouth terrifies you because 1) he might be germy, and 2) he might hurt you. It doesn't go over well. Best to take the medication and be done with it. I went in. The initial visit wasn't bad. He made a mold of my teeth to give me a clear retainer - something I'd never seen before. It's like the invisalign of retainers. Four hours later, I went back and picked it up.
Then I put it in. It was fine for about twenty minutes. Very tight. And completely invisible - I was SHOCKED at how invisible it was. By the time I got home and unloaded the car, it had started. Having been without a retainer for almost a year meant that my teeth had shifted, if only slightly. This new retainer was TIGHT. And pushing on my shifted teeth.
On top of that, the sinus infection was already making my cheeks and forehead ache. Combined with the retainer, it was like someone moved a brass band into my face. THUMP...ow... THUMP...Ow... THUMP... OW OW OW DAMMIT THIS HURTS!
And so my evening went.
Went to Kelly's to watch the second part of the So You Think You Can Dance Finale. I was very pleasantly surprised at the results. Always a silver lining, eh?
Friday (The 13th)
I woke up with my face and teeth still thudding.
Went in, took a Government test - the final government test - and rejoiced for Government was DONE!
Note-Boy seemed to have given up calling me.
Went home... started the cleaning extravaganza.
My house had gone explody over the past week. And I do NOT deal well with an explody house.
Saturday (The 14th)
Cleaning. Lots of cleaning. Found out that my Psycho Crazy Cat Lady neighbor would be moving out. Rejoiced.
Sunday (The 15th)
Cleaned. Read Sociology. Had a playdate with Jenny, Una, Casper, Copper, and Dylan. Took LOTS of pictures. Will post tomorrow.
Monday (Hey... today...)
Sociology exam. Babysitting. Screaming Chaos girl... but love her anyway. Silly old teeth. I hate teething...
Tomorrow will be my 8th and final exam. Sociology, AGAIN.
This semester at ACC couldn't end fast enough for me. UT starts up again in 9 days. And already, I have a nearly booked schedule for the coming week. Hopefully though, with the onslaught of tests over, I'll actually be able to post.
Or at least devote hours of my time to reading Sluggy Freelance.
Recap over, Bobbi out.